Bad Daddy

Yesterday the baby scratched her face at the playground. She had just slid down a slide (which she could do to delirium). I was in the habit of catching her at the bottom as any good daddy would do. On this particular occasion, she reached the bottom and quickly pushed me away. She does this because she is a big girl and doesn't need daddy's help. If I hadn't been behind on my research, I would have known that baby equilibrium isn't completely developed at 14 months. Consequently, the baby once broken from my hold commenced to dive face first into the foam floor of the playground. Had it been dirt, grass, or sand she may have been unscathed but this foam floor is no smoother than P8O grit sandpaper. She cried for about 9 seconds then leaped from arms and ran back to the slide. Crazy Baby.

At the market later on, an old lady came up to the baby and started touching her nose saying, "your baby has a cold. You need to rub Castor oil on her face to keep her healthy." I then told her that it was an accident on a slide. She looked at me as if to say, "What kind of parent would let their baby fall off a slide? Only an irresponsible cur I reckon." Thats when I rolled up my sleeve above my bicep, made a tight fist with my hand (middle knuckle extruded of course) and stuck it about 3mm from her nose saying, "You better beat it you old codger before I give you a knuckle sandwich." She quickly scurried away mumbling, "twenty three skidoo!" or something.

I felt a little guilty driving home because after all she was right. I am a bad daddy.

Please click the image for a visual description of the event.